New Identity (Part II)

Today I went to the Social Security office to get my name changed. What an afternoon! I left the office around noon. I stopped at Mama B's to get lunch. I knew I'd have to wait, so I figured I might as well eat while I'm waiting. I found the Federal Building, but I couldn't figure out where to park. After driving around a couple blocks, I find a space in the lot accross the street. Of course it's metered parking so I'm scrounging to find some change. I have enough for about 2 hours (it's nearly 1:00 by now). I grab everything I need and cross the street. When I get up to the front door, there is a sign that says "NO CELLPHONES". So I have to go back to the car and leave my cell phone there. I returned to the Federal Building and got through security. I walked down the hall to the S.S. office and there's another sign, "NO FOOD OR DRINK". GRRR! I stuffed my sandwich in my bag, took a few big sips from my drink and threw the rest away. I walked into a room with like a hundred people waiting. I asked the security guy where to sign in. He points to a computer in the corner of the room and tells me that it's broken, but the other security guard is fixing it. The guy fixes the machine and asks me what I'm there for. I tell him that I'm just changing my name. He hands me a slip of paper with a number on it, E179, and I take a seat. Shortly after I'm seated, the first security guard starts calling out numbers, "E143, E144, E145." Some people get up and go into another room off to the side. I think to myself, "not bad. This won't take long at all." About 15 minutes later, he calls out the next series of 3 or 4 numbers. About every 15-20 minutes, he calls out a few more numbers. "E174, E175, E176." I'm so close. I should be in the next set. About 10 minutes after he called this set, you wouldn't believe what happened next. The fire alarm went off!! Everyone starts evacuating the building. I found a nice shady spot accross the street, but it was still HOT! While I'm sitting outside, I figure I might as well start eating my lunch. I only had enough time to eat the potato chips, though. The fire department showed up right away and soon they let us go back in (employees first, of course). I finally get back inside the building and have to go through security again. This time, the x-ray machine flagged my bag as having an electronic device inside. It was my iPod and they let me go. I took an empty seat. It wasn't long before my number was called. I quickly got up and was escorted to this side room where, guess what, I had to wait in line. While I was waiting, the guard starts asking people individually whether or not they were born in the United States. The first 3 people that responded "yes" (myself included) were escorted to another back room where they had previously been calling to people who had made appointments (I didn't know you could do that). We take a seat and wait some more. FINALLY, one of the employees asked who's next. "ME, ME, ME!" She takes me to her desk. I looked at the clock. It's now 3:30. If you've done the math, you know that my meter has run out. I take a seat and hand the woman my application, driver's license, and marriage certificate. The woman was like, "I'm not too familiar with doing name changes." She had to ask for help from one of the other employees. She finally gets everything inputted into the computer and I get a receipt. I grab all my documents, give a small smile and thank you, and dash out of there. I race to my car, praying that I don't have a parking ticket. Praise the Lord, NO TICKET!!! Finally something goes right today. I head back to the office. It's now about 4:00. I just lost 4 hours of work that I have to make up (or take out of my vacation). I finally get to eat my sandwhich though (which is now soggy from all the dressing that they put on it). In case you're wondering, yes, I could have taken care of this through the mail. But I would have had to send original documents, not photocopies. So for fear of not having them returned and the illegality to drive without my driver's license, I had to take care of this in person. But it's done now, or so I think. I'll know for sure when I get my new card in the mail.